The Soul of Discipline: The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Cal

Description: The Soul of Discipline by Kim John Payne In this groundbreaking book, parenting expert and acclaimed author of the bestselling book Simplicity Parenting Kim John Payne, M.Ed., flips the script on childrens challenging or defiant behavior and lays out an elegantly simple plan to support parents in establishing loving, age-sensitive boundaries that help children feel safe and settled. In short: What looks like misbehavior is actually your childrens signal that theyre feeling lost, that they are trying to find direction and looking to you to guide them back on course. Payne gives parents heartwarming help and encouragement by combining astute observations with sensitive and often funny stories from his long career as a parent educator and a school and family counselor. In accessible language, he explains the relevance of current brain- and child-development studies to day-to-day parenting. Breaking the continuum of childhood into three stages, Payne says that parents need to play three different roles, each corresponding to one of those stages, to help steer children through their emotional growth and inevitable challenging times: • The Governor, who is comfortably and firmly in charge—setting limits and making decisions for the early years up to around the age of eight • The Gardener, who watches for emotional growth and makes decisions based on careful listening, assisting tweens in making plans that take the whole familys needs into account • The Guide, who is both a sounding board and moral compass for emerging adults, helping teens build a sense of their lifes direction as a way to influence healthy decision making Practical and rooted in common sense, The Soul of Discipline gives parents permission to be warm and nurturing but also calm and firm (not overreactive). It gives clear, doable strategies to get things back on track for parents who sense that their childrens behavior has fallen into a troubling pattern. And best of all, it provides healthy direction to the entire family so parents can spend less time and energy on outmoded, punitive discipline and more on connecting with and enjoying their kids.Advance praise for The Soul of Discipline "The Soul of Discipline offers practical tools for helping parents implement discipline thats respectful and effective, but the book is so much more. Kim John Payne offers a framework to guide parents in making decisions about why, when, and how to hold tighter reins as we build skills in our children, and why, when, and how to loosen the reins as we scaffold freedom."—Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., co-author of No-Drama Discipline "This book gets deep inside the challenge of getting along with children and teens and thinks deeply about what they need from us to become strong and self-managing. It elevates discipline to what it should be—a caring process of helping kids orient to the world and live in it happily and well."—Steve Biddulph, author of The New Manhood "Kim Payne provides a useful model for choosing our parenting stance—Governor, Gardener, or Guide—depending on the situation. Most powerfully, Payne begins with the radical view that children are not disobedient but rather disoriented. The upshot of this shift in perspective is that discipline is about helping children orient themselves effectively, not about controlling or chastising."—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of Playful Parenting FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Author Biography A consultant and trainer to 250 U.S. independent and public schools and school districts, Kim John Payne, M.Ed., has been a school and family counselor for more than thirty years. He has also consulted for clinics, training centers, and educational associations in South Africa, Hungary, Israel, Russia, Ireland, Switzerland, Germany, Australia, the United Kingdom, and Canada. He has served as the project director of the Collaborative Counseling Program at Antioch University and the co-director of an extensive research program on a drug-free approach to attention-priority issues. He is the director of the Simplicity Parenting Project and the Center for Social Sustainability and has worked extensively with the American and U.K. Waldorf movements. The author of Games Children Play, Simplicity Parenting, and Beyond Winning, he lives with his wife and two children in Northampton, Massachusetts. Review Advance praise for The Soul of Discipline "The Soul of Discipline offers practical tools for helping parents implement discipline thats respectful and effective, but the book is so much more. Kim John Payne offers a framework to guide parents in making decisions about why, when, and how to hold tighter reins as we build skills in our children, and why, when, and how to loosen the reins as we scaffold freedom."—Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., co-author of No-Drama Discipline "This book gets deep inside the challenge of getting along with children and teens and thinks deeply about what they need from us to become strong and self-managing. It elevates discipline to what it should be—a caring process of helping kids orient to the world and live in it happily and well."—Steve Biddulph, author of The New Manhood "Kim Payne provides a useful model for choosing our parenting stance—Governor, Gardener, or Guide—depending on the situation. Most powerfully, Payne begins with the radical view that children are not disobedient but rather disoriented. The upshot of this shift in perspective is that discipline is about helping children orient themselves effectively, not about controlling or chastising."—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of Playful Parenting "The Soul of Discipline draws on Kim John Paynes years of gifted school and family counseling to show us with its clear and simple tone how to discipline without becoming our childrens enemy. It is filled with memorable stories, dialogues that will engage your imagination, and great strategies. By the books end, a new picture of parenting will live in you, one that will honor the soul of your children as you provide the structure, training, and guidance they need at each stage of their development."—Dee Joy Coulter, Ed.D., author of Original Mind Review Quote Advance praise for The Soul of Discipline "The Soul of Discipline offers practical tools for helping parents implement discipline thats respectful and effective, but the book is so much more. Kim John Payne offers a framework to guide parents in making decisions about why, when, and how to hold tighter reins as we build skills in our children, and why, when, and how to loosen the reins as we scaffold freedom." --Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., co-author of No-Drama Discipline "This book gets deep inside the challenge of getting along with children and teens and thinks deeply about what they need from us to become strong and self-managing. It elevates discipline to what it should be--a caring process of helping kids orient to the world and live in it happily and well." --Steve Biddulph, author of The New Manhood "Kim Payne provides a useful model for choosing our parenting stance--Governor, Gardener, or Guide--depending on the situation. Most powerfully, Payne begins with the radical view that children are not disobedient but rather disoriented. The upshot of this shift in perspective is that discipline is about helping children orient themselves effectively, not about controlling or chastising." --Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of Playful Parenting " The Soul of Discipline draws on Kim John Paynes years of gifted school and family counseling to show us with its clear and simple tone how to discipline without becoming our childrens enemy. It is filled with memorable stories, dialogues that will engage your imagination, and great strategies. By the books end, a new picture of parenting will live in you, one that will honor the soul of your children as you provide the structure, training, and guidance they need at each stage of their development." --Dee Joy Coulter, Ed.D., author of Original Mind Excerpt from Book 1 Disobedient or Disoriented? How many times have we heard the expression "Hes a lost soul"? We can sense when this is the case in someone close to us, such as a relative or friend, or even in a public figure in the wider community who causes us concern. To be lost and have no one to help us find our way is the stuff of nightmares. No one likes to be disoriented, and few things in life are more unsettling. But children are particularly vulnerable when it comes to feeling lost and unsafe. We know there is too much coming at them all the time in todays frenetic world. Few adults among us have had to cope with the incessant stream of images, impressions, ideas, attitudes, and conflicting messages modern kids must navigate. We are, quite frankly, living in the midst of an undeclared war on childhood. Kids are exposed to too much and forced to grow up too quickly. As a result, disorientation and heightened anxiety have become the new normal. So its no wonder that troubling behavior surfaces more and more often at home and at school. As parents, we want to shield our children as much as possible, to provide a safe haven for them from the unrelenting buzzing and booming, the fever- Details ISBN0345548698 Author Kim John Payne Short Title The Soul of Discipline Language English Year 2021 ISBN-10 0345548698 ISBN-13 9780345548696 Format Paperback Publication Date 2021-02-02 Pages 336 Country of Publication United States AU Release Date 2021-02-02 NZ Release Date 2021-02-02 US Release Date 2021-02-02 UK Release Date 2021-02-02 Publisher Random House USA Inc Imprint Ballantine Books Inc. Place of Publication New York Illustrations LINE ART THROUGHOUT & CHAPTER OPENER ART Subtitle The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance -- From Toddlers to Teens DEWEY 649.64 Audience General We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! 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